Home
Since we all seem to need some . . .
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I jsut sit around and liten to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know -- the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose! What's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. Howevery, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. One the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect!" "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve-thirty."
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied. "Arthritis."
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I jsut sit around and liten to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know -- the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose! What's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. Howevery, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. One the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect!" "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve-thirty."
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied. "Arthritis."
The last one almost made me pee myself 
The second one was my favorite...reminds me of my dad! 
